There are times in life when parents must make decisions that are not very easy. I was the topic of one of the hardest decisions my mother would ever have to make. At two years old, a doctor's appointment revealed that I had a heart defect that needed immediate surgery. I was born sickly, two months premature, needing a blood transfusion, and had a hole in my heart (atrial septal defect).

 

My mother had just given birth to my sister, who was about six months old. She was a newlywed; she had married my sister’s father. My father was missing in action on purpose. Yet, she had the responsibility of me while still trying to figure out marriage, parenting, and family life. She had already been through a very tough season with me at birth, and now she had to make a life-altering decision. 

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My parents initially agreed, and the surgery was scheduled. But shortly afterward it was postponed. When the decision to reschedule the surgery was being discussed, my parents decided for me not to have the corrective procedure. I talk about it in detail in my book, Suitable Singles: Every Single Decision Matters. Here, I will simply say that their decision in fear cost me greatly.

 

I was two years old when the initial surgical procedure was scheduled. Sixteen years later, at 18, I signed for myself and had the surgical procedure. For years, people asked me why I had not received the procedure as an infant? I could not honestly answer them. I can only give the answer that was discussed between my parents and the physician. My mother divulged to me that they had a brief conversation about the procedure and my parents had asked, “How long can she live with this condition?”

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“Let’s see,” the physician responded.

 

My parents' fear cost me peace, and the results caused me eight years of suffering and fainting. Which also cost me my education, and enjoyment. All those years had passed, and I was no closer to understanding the reason for my parents' decision until October 2023. It was one week before my sixtieth birthday when God led me to watch a movie. However, I really wasn’t interested in watching any movies. But I could feel a tug in my spirit, so I sat in my chair and turned on my television. 

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I went to one station, but God led me to YouTube. As soon as I opened the app, I noticed a movie called “Something the Lord Has Made.” That title drew me in, and I began watching. About 40 minutes later, I realized I was watching the story about the two physicians who had created the open-heart-surgery procedure that I had at 18, but was supposed to have at two years old. 

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Suddenly, the reason for my parents' fear was clear to me. The surgical procedure was only three years old at the time that I would have had the surgery. My parents had every reason to be afraid for my life. I was my mother’s firstborn. And she was newly married to my sister’s father, had an infant at home, and had a very sick child. My sister’s father would eventually adopt me, but that did not happen until I was five years old. So she had to make the best decision that she could live with. 

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As a mother of one daughter, I can’t honestly say I would have done differently from an emotional perspective. You just don’t know what you would do in that situation. I watched as my daughter fought cervical cancer, and every decision we made was critical to her care and well-being. Parenting is such a blessing, but at times, it is also a heavy emotional, physical, and financial burden. That no one wants to talk about. But life issues are always happening, and we just have to do the best that we can. 

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My story took some supernatural turns, and God kept me until I could bravely make the surgical decision for myself. It was easier for me to make the decision from the suffering position, but it’s not easy from the parenting position. However, with much prayer, God causes all things to work together for the good. If you read my story, you will see what I mean.

 

Parenting is the hardest job in the world, but it is also the most rewarding. And God’s strength will always be our strength when we call on Him by faith.

  

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