The LORD shall judge the peoples; Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness,

 And according to my integrity within me. (Psalm 7:8, NKJV)

 

What kind of mate are you? Okay, don’t hate me! I’m just asking the same question that God asked me, and I didn’t like it either. However, we need an accurate self-assessment to properly gauge what we are bringing to the mating table. Most of the time we think more highly of ourselves than we ought, when the reality of who we are may be a bit different from what we project.

 

This assessment is a critical component to mating properly because it gives you a perceptive eye. If you can honestly look at yourself with a more detailed eye, then you will easily be able to assess other people showing up in your life, especially in your mating life. Not everyone is the right someone for you, and you will probably cycle through a few meetings or minor relationships before you meet your suitable mating partner.

 

I’m not asking you to judge yourself or anyone else, but you must know yourself. Who are You? Who is the person you want to bring into a marriage covenant? What makes you ready? What value are you bringing to the relationship? Are your motives righteous or selfish? Are you someone people enjoy? Do you enjoy yourself? What is your version of your suitable mate? What is your version of yourself as a suitable mate? Does anyone else see you as ready? Does anyone else see you as a suitable mate? Does God see you as ready?

 

The only way to assess this is to sit down, get quiet, and get real about who you are and what value you bring to the relational table. In my early assessment of myself, I thought I was a great catch because I knew how to run a home, pay bills, work…etc. But according to God, I was not ready at all. I had a soul that had a huge hole in it; I was spiritually dysfunctional, emotionally wounded, and physically self-sabotaging.

 

I’m so glad God knew and loved me enough to say "no" to me when I asked him for a mate. He was not only protecting the mate, but me as well. From my disobedience and a failed marriage, I learned that mating is a ministry from beginning to end; from “I do,” to “death-do-us-part” and we can’t afford to enter into the second most important relationship of our lives with a jaded view of who we are, who they are, or what we bring to the mating table. We need to know the truth.

 

If you don’t think you can be honest with yourself, ask the people in your inner circle whose opinions you trust to assess you, as a person, then as a prospective mate. Give them the freedom to be honest with you for your own best interest and growth. You may have your emotions touched a little, but the eyes of your understanding will be enlightened.

 

And keep this in mind: you are a suitable single; you just need to understand how to recognize who is a suitable mate for you. You'll do this better by better understanding yourself.

 

Prayer:

Father, in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ, please help me allow you to prepare me for mating and marriage. I may think that I am ready, but you know if I really am. Please lead me in this second most important partnership of my life. I lay down my will and my way for your truth and your way. Prepare me to be the mating partner and servant that you desire me to be. Amen.