I was sitting on the bus one day when we pulled up to a stop. As the bus loaded passengers, we could hear the conversation of a young woman. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it had it not been for the language, because I had my headphones on, listening to some music. I was immediately distracted by her cussing and fussing while on her cell phone. She was standing in the middle of a group of people, letting it all hang out.

 

It immediately made me think of other conversations I’ve heard on the bus. And it made me reflect on some of the conversations I’ve had on the bus, and in other situations. I realized that conversations tell you a lot about a person. As a matter of fact, they tell others where we are in life and where we’ve been. They even reflect our personalities, values and beliefs.

 

Later in the evening I began to talk to God about the experience and He revealed that, “There are different kinds of conversations and they often reveal the person’s heart. Sometimes the conversations are loud, angry, solemn, quiet, reflective, boastful, edifying, encouraging and yes even, explicit. So, when we listen to a conversation; whether purposefully or unintentionally, we learn who that person is and what they’ve been through or are going through.”

 

I walked away with a greater understanding of the value of guarding my conversations. Not so much in terms of, guarding the conversations from being heard by others not intended to hear them, but from the perspective of guarding how I speak, when I speak, what I speak about and why. I learned that the state of our heart in any given moment will always reflect our conversations. A wounded heart will reflect that hurt through bitter and angry conversations. A happy heart will reflect the joy through conversations of praise and rejoicing. And a solemn heart will reflect the sorrow through depressing conversations.

 

I’ve also learned that not all conversations are created equal. Proverbs 25: 9-10 (NLT) teaches, “When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray another person’s secret. Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation.”

 

I admit that I’ve had a few of those kinds of conversations. Not intentionally to betray another person’s secret; but because I was angry at them and I thought I needed to vent. And that’s the kind of conversation the young woman on the bus-stop was having. Everybody could hear the anger and contempt in her conversation. She was clearly hurt and agitated.

 

For me this was a timely reminder because I’ve been dealing with a close family member about her conversations. She’s a career gossiper and for some reason she feels the need to want to tell me everybody’s business, when I don’t want to hear it. I’ve told her time and time again in the nicest way; that I no longer participate in gossip. I only speak of a matter to teach a lesson, one that God has taught me. Otherwise, I keep the matter between us.

 

I’ve noticed that as soon as I remind her of that, she has nothing else to say. Her entire conversation is about gossip, because she has nothing else going on in her life that she can speak well about. It’s a sad state and I sympathize with her, because I remember a time when that was me. I thank God that He’s changed my heart and my life, and thereby changed my conversations.

 

I’m not saying that my mouth doesn’t get me into trouble sometimes, but I’m grateful that I have the Holy Spirit to give me that subtle tap to remind me to correct myself and get back on course. And to remind me that whatever is going on I can always call on God to help me through it, rather than belittling another person through hurtful gossip, which hurts me more than them. I would rather have my conversations be filled with meaningful, edifying words that can soothe and minister to a hurting soul.

 

The scripture states, “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!” (Proverbs 15: 23, NLT).

 

Our speech should always be representative of our walk with God. There should never be any type of vulgar or inappropriate talk flowing from our holy lips. We are ambassadors for Christ and as ambassadors we must represent the Kingdom of Heaven in a way that is holy and righteous, in deeds and in speech. And by doing this, we will also be holy representatives of the mini kingdoms that are our families.

 

The Apostle Paul admonished Timothy, “Don’t let anyone look down on your because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12, NIV).

 

Prayer:

Father, please help me to guard my words, for they are containers that fill the ears of others. When I am angry, help me to be mindful to cool down before I speak to anyone. If someone makes me angry, please help me to stay calm, and bring the matter to you, so that I can respond to them calmly; even if I have to step aside and say a quick prayer for Your support. Help me to let my words glorify You, by edifying them with peace. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.