“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7 (KJV)

 

(Skit)

I Can’t Live With You!

 

Premise: (A couple is constantly arguing and not getting along, simply because they think it’s all about them as an individual.)

 

Husband—(Comes in from work) Hey, can you get me something to eat?

 

Wife—(Rolling her eyes, responding sarcastically) Do I look like your maid?

 

Husband—(Angry and defensive) You don’t want me to tell you, what I think you look like? (Mumbling) Hag!

 

Wife—(Steps up to him and gets in his face) Oh, I got your hag.

 

Husband—(Walks away and takes a seat) Picks up his Bible off the table. (Sits shaking his head in disbelief)

 

Wife—(With her hands folded and tapping her foot in anger) Oh, so now you’re so religious?

 

Husband—(Shouting) I can’t live with you! (Grabs his Bible) Skimming through the pages of the bible. (He stops and reads)

 

Wife—(Angry) You make me sick! I can’t live with you, either!

 

Husband—(Softly reading out loud) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Proverbs 21:9, NIV)

 

Wife—(Goes and picks up her Bible and flips through the pages—then she reads) “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (Amos 3:3, NLT)

 

(They both pause and glance at each other realizing that they both are wrong, then they walk over to each other and fall into an embrace)

 

Husband—(Looking into her eyes) I’m sorry, Babe. I don’t mean to take you for granted. Please forgive me.

 

Wife—(Gazing back at him) I am too, and I don’t mean to disrespect you. Forgive me. I love you!

 

(They lovingly hold each other) 

 

The End! Or Is It?

 

We don’t want to be that couple, but too many times before, we have been. When we don’t understand the needs of our mate or the needs of the relationship itself, then we become frustrated and lash out at each other. Arguments don’t solve problems or address issues; they just escalate them. Communication is the key to relational success. When you stop communicating, not arguing, but talking; you stop negotiating the proper outcome for the given situation or issue. Yelling and screaming, may get you heard, but not understood.

 

Yesterday afternoon, I was relaxing contemplating putting up the skit and the next blog, when I was interrupted by an argument going on just outside my window. I sat not wanting to be nosey, I don’t get into other people’s business unless they or God invite me in. As the voices grew louder, I got up and peeked out of the window.

 

Just as I looked out, I heard the man threaten the woman. Instantly, he walked over to her and hit her. She stumbled and fell, rolling off the curb into the parking lot of the complex. I was shocked, as she grabbed her side screaming in pain. She slowly lifted herself from the street and walked away hurriedly, he followed threatening. They went back around the corner continuing their very public fight.

 

I began to pray for them, especially for her because she was a small framed women who was already hurt, and he was a big framed man threatening to do her more harm. She was younger than he and more soft-spoken. The sad part about the altercation was that they were fighting over another woman. He was defending helping the other woman, but he was hurting the woman he was with.

 

Generally, our complex is quiet, except for the kids playing. But that argument really disturbed me, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. He threatened to go back to rehab, and she cussed about the other woman, holding her side. I don’t really know them, but their relationship displays, classic relational brokenness!

 

As if that wasn’t enough for me to ingest, I decided as I was flipping channels later in the evening, to watch one of those fiancé shows where the people make a life long covenant with a total stranger. I used to watch them when they first came on, but I began to hate them.

 

What the couple doesn’t understand is that they often are not ready for a relationship, yet they give their hearts over the internet or the phone to a complete and total stranger. Then they work to try to come together and become one. I’m not judging, because I did the exact same thing with my ex-husband. That’s why God had to intervene to save me from my broken self.

 

Remember the bus incident when God said, “Don’t give your all to a stranger,” that applies here. That word was so inspiring to me that I wrote a play with that title. I had seen that scenario play out too many times, even in my own life.

 

Too often, the couple finds out that they can’t live with each other, because they have not properly taken the time to get to know each other enough to make an informed decision whether one another is suitable enough to become a life partner or not. Due to emotional neediness, which stems from being desperately wounded in their souls, they rush into an emotional covenant with a stranger. I saw at least four couple’s breakup in the two hours I watched.

 

Relationships are too precious to be entered into lightly. When I was desperately seeking love in all the wrong faces, and places, I too, found myself hating the relationship that I had established with a person that I didn’t enjoy; and who didn’t enjoy me, either.

 

If we allow ourselves the time to be healed in our hearts and transformed in our minds, then we will find ourselves healthier, and more prepared as a suitable single to choose another suitable single. From preparedness comes relational success. Let’s take all the time we need to get to know the stranger that has shown up in our lives, to see if we should allow them to remain.

 

Prayer:

Father, I need You to give me eyes to see and a mind to understand, so that I can accurately assess every person who enters my life. I don’t want to continue in a pattern of dysfunctional relationships. And I don’t want to make a lifelong relational covenant in a temporary relational encounter. As you develop me as a suitable single, help me to wait on Your timing for mating, in Your will and Your way. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.