Even though you are single, you cannot be single-minded when dating/mating. You must remember that it's not just about your happiness, and it’s not just about the two of you. Most couples get so lost in the beauty of the in-love experience that they sometimes forget that they are not the only people who will need to enter into a relationship with the new mate.

 

While God was ministering to me all those years, He taught me that one of the important issues to consider when mating is to understand that you are choosing not just a mate for yourself, but for your family and friendships, too. This person that you maybe so smitten with will be integrated into your relationships, all of them.

 

For this reason, it is imperative that you understand that you are choosing a suitable mate for all the important people in your life. Nope, it’s no longer about you. When you meet someone new and decide to have a meaningful, lasting relationship with them, then your family and friends will be initiated into that relationship, usually by force, not by choice. Your choice has now indirectly become their choice because they are your peer group.

 

That’s something to think about isn’t it? We should! Many times, our bad relationships have become our family and friends’ bad relationships, too. The sad part about it all is that they never asked for a relationship with that person, they were drawn into it through us. Because they love us, then tend to try to be accepting of someone they usually don’t know, or find out they don’t like, but just tolerate for our sakes.

 

Family, this is not the way to build a healthy family. We don’t want our family and friends frustrated or worried over our mating decisions. And we don’t want to invite someone into our lives that does not fit in. I know we have to get to know people, but don’t introduce anyone to your family or friends until you need to. Let them know that you are getting to know someone, give the person's name, and be safe in your relationship building with this person, usually in public. Be sure that this person is a suitable candidate for mingling with your family and friends before you present them.

 

Also, make the person earn their way into your heart and the hearts of your family and friends. Anyone coming into your life, must earn the right to be there. Don’t let them force themselves in without your permission and peace about their presence. Pray! Pray! Pray! And then pray some more about this person and how their presence in your life will impact you and all the people you love and who love you.

 

Prayer:

Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, please help me to be aware of the kind of people I am allowing into my personal life. Their presence in my life, will impact those I love and Your kingdom purpose for us. I can’t make this decision alone, I need You to guide, counsel, and protect me in dating/mating because I desire a healthy family that glorifies You and edifies others. Amen.