“Give to everyone what you owe them: 

If you owe taxes, pay taxes;

if revenue, then revenue; 

if respect, then respect; 

if honor, then honor.”

(Romans 13:7, NIV)

 

As the friendship phase of the relationship progresses, a mating stage can occur. It doesn't happen with all friends, but it can with that extra special someone. This stage requires a different level of love, and a different level of commitment.

 

Have you ever seen a couple who were married, but disconnected? They are together, yet they are so far apart. The reason could be many factors, but the key factors may be a lack of loyalty and honor.

 

Loyalty...what a word. Most people don't even understand its ramifications within a relationship. However, it is one of the building blocks to a successful, healthy relationship. It is the glue that binds the relationship. If there is no loyalty between the couple, then there will be no longevity in the relationship. Since loyalty is such a major component to the longevity of the relationship, let's find out how to establish it.

 

The first thing we need to understand, is that loyalty is a byproduct of honor. You will only honor the one you love, appreciate or value. All these attributes are the foundation for a successful relational union. It is so important that it narrates all successful relationships: marital relationships, Christian fellowships, and business partnerships. It will be hard to have just about any kind of lasting relationship if honor is not present.

 

Why honor? Because honor is the bridge to respect. When we respect people, we will show them honor. That honor is represented as a high esteem of value for the person. You value them so much that you only desire to bring them good, not evil. You speak well of them, you do well for them, and you give well to them because they mean so much to you. They hold great value in your heart.

 

The Lord, gave me a new insight about mating a few years ago when He said, "If you don't have the heart of the man/woman, then you don't have the man/woman."

 

He spoke recently, "Partnership in mating is understanding who will be the one, who will walk through, and work through oneness with us (Me and you)?"

 

That was the icing on the mating cake for me. Of all the lessons He has taught me concerning the mating/marriage covenant; this one is priceless. I wish I had put that statement in the book because it's so true. It returns us back to oneness, and not just between the couple, but between God and the couple.

 

Where there is no loyalty and honor, there can be no oneness. And where there is no oneness there is no loyalty and honor. First Peter 3:1-8 (NLT), gives us a clearer understanding of the value of loyalty and honor, “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

 

“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

 

I know a lot of woman just cringe when they read that passage, but they shouldn’t. It’s there to teach us how to respect and honor each other as a married couple. Understanding how God sees respect and honor will help us to walk in it without feeling as if we have lost something. We never lose when we choose to respect and honor anyone, but it is especially a valuable trait within the mating/marriage relationship. Philippians 2:3, (NIV) encourages us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…”

 

By giving the relational advantage, we will automatically be walking in love, respect, and honor, which will embody a heart of loyalty.