5 Stages of Mating©

By A. Lin. Thomas

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“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: But a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20, KJV) 

 

This section is an excerpt taken directly from my new book; Suitable Singles: Every Single Decision Matters. I labored whether to share it at this time, but I found peace in my spirit about it when I thought about how much this revelation blessed me. It gave me the greatest understanding of the mating process. Up to this point, I have been seeking to minister character and integrity, but now it’s time to minister relational understanding in a deeper and righteous way.

 

Do you really understand mating? ​

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I didn’t, until God explained it to me in the most simplistic way. He showed me that there are 5 Stages of Mating and they are: stranger, acquaintance, friend, mate, and lover. I will give you these 5 stages in the exact way and order God explained them to me.

 

First, let's look at the Stranger stage: 

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According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the term stranger is defined as a, “Foreigner, intruder, or a person with whom one is unacquainted.” 

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That’s fascinating because that’s who the person is when we first meet them. So why do we tell a stranger all our personal business and secretes just to get to know them? Don’t you sit there and act like you didn’t tell all your business during the first few conversations? How about while you talked in the restaurant, or on the phone? I did, and I thought it was protocol. Everybody did it that way, so why shouldn’t I?  

 

Well, I’ll tell you what God told me about it. He said, “When you first meet someone, they are in the stranger phase of your life. They are not privy to your personal information currently. They are only there to meet you, not to get to know you better—that will come at another stage if the first meeting is successful.” 

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I remember going on a blind date when I was in my mid-twenties—it was the most horrific date I have ever experienced. For some reason he thought he was a gift to me and that I should bow down to him. Bowing to worship him was not going to happen, and it didn’t. He insulted me every chance he could, and I laid him out in every way I could. The funny part about the whole evening was that we were never alone. My daughter’s aunt and her boyfriend had introduced us, and we were in their presence the entire night until we dropped him off.  

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I had never argued with a complete and total stranger from the time we were introduced to the time we parted ways. I had always been a quiet spirited person, but he brought out another side of me. Afterward, I took a deep breath and relaxed. I was emotionally exhausted.

 

In the stranger stage, you don’t have to like each other, but you do need to respect each other, or there will be no next stage. 

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Reference: 

Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary. (1994). Tenth Edition. Springfield, MA.