Divorce Is Not Child's Play

"Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain..." Psalm 127 (NIV)

Some years ago, I heard a funny story, but the story made me very sad. My grandson reported that some kids on the school playground had called him as a witness in their version of “Divorce Court.” Apparently, there was a boy and a girl who had gotten married (at least in their childlike minds). Well, the boy found out from other kids that the girl (his wife) had cheated on him, and he wanted a divorce. There was a whole playground court session where witnesses were called to testify to the so-called infidelity. Afterward, the children broke up (got a divorce) and went on their merry way. 

At first, I didn’t want to hear about any part of the childish event, but the other day the story was told to me in its entirety. I was moved to sadness for the children who have become so accustomed to hearing about divorce that they thought nothing of getting married, then getting divorced. It made me think about the reason I got divorced. I would love to blame him, but I can’t; the travesty was our doing, not just his. I gave as much to the marriage as I could, but he was in-and-out, then eventually, he was all the way out, which led me to file for divorce.

Knowing what I know now about the covenant of marriage and the consequences of divorce, I felt sorry for myself, those children, and all others who have had a failed marriage. Which is really a failed family life. It’s not just the couple that’s affected; the whole family, all the friends, the neighbors, and the community are affected. 

Personally, I don’t recommend divorce; it’s very hurtful, especially for the children who are in the middle and watching it all. But the reality is that divorce usually happens when one or both partners in the couple stop being a partner and turn into an enemy. When that happens, it will always force the other partner to go into survival mode, which makes them turn inward to protect themselves from the partner who promised to be a partner, but isn’t.

Divorce is not child’s play; it’s a serious detriment to family life and well-being. And it’s also not the norm. The children are only acting out what they’ve seen, heard about, or personally experienced. We can’t blame them for imitating the adults in their lives; they're supposed to do that if we are suitable role models. The question is: are we? Selah! (Take the time to think about that.)

When we do, we will be wiser about dating and mating. Because what matters most is not all the romantic banter that happens in the beginning of the relationship, it’s the love that is displayed within the marriage that makes the difference in the family’s well-being. Let’s take mating and marriage more seriously and end the divorce cycle by committing to God’s way of building the house. 

Prayer:

Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for healing all the broken hearts and binding up all the wounds that divorce has caused. Forgive us who have been participants in divorce and help us forgive the ex-mate. Realizing that we should not be choosing a mate outside of your will, please give us a discerning spirit to make wise relational covenants. Help us as your children, not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Rather, help us choose a suitable mate. We desire our marriage and family to represent your love and goodness. Amen!