Closed Doors

The other day, a friend of mine complained about a friendship that had been over for months and had recently reopened. It brought to my remembrance a season in my life when I kept trying to preserve two friendships. The problem with the friendships was that they were completely disrespectful.

Every time we had a disagreement, I would try to rectify the situation through respectful dialogue. However; they both always hung up on me. I didn’t have a problem with them disagreeing with me; we just needed to talk about the situation to find a happy middle ground. They refused to talk and would abruptly hang up! I felt disrespected because I don’t handle my business that way, and I always try to consider the other person's feelings. Well, I missed it on one occasion, but I rectified it.

After the relationship was over, a few months later, they would call me, and I would always let them back into my life through forgiveness, until another disagreement occurred, and I found myself on the back end of another hang-up. After some serious introspection, I realized God was trying to close doors I kept allowing others to keep open.

Losing a friendship hurts, but being disrespected by someone who is supposed to be a friend hurts worse. And sometimes, those disrespectful occurrences are there to show you who people really are. I have had friendships for years; some for over 30 years, and we have never disrespected each other. Honestly, I don’t think we planned to still be in each other’s lives for this long, but we are still friends today because we love and respect each other. We nurture the relationship with loving kindness, not wreck it because of emotional neediness and selfishness. Looking at my successful relationships helped me to see the hang-ups were an indication of the season being over. And it was time for me to move on, with no hard feelings.

Every time God would allow the doors to be closed, I would allow them to reopen them, and I paid the price in the end. I kept thinking that forgiveness was the answer, but forgiveness can’t cover continual disrespect. After the last hang-up, I began to understand that some relationships are seasonal, and others are lifelong. The problem is we don’t always know which one is seasonal and which one is lifelong in the beginning. We only come to know the difference when God reveals it to us through a closed door, or when we look up 30 years later and the person is still there. Let’s just surrender to his will, because he knows who and what’s best for us.

And let’s remember to choose wisely who we mate with, because that should not be one of those closed-door seasonal relationships.

Prayer:

Father, please help us know the difference between a closed-door relationship and a lifelong relationship. Also help us know the difference between a wait and a closed door because sometimes we lack patience and want to move in another direction thinking you have answered us with a “No” instead of a “Wait.” We only want to remain in your will, not following our own will and emotional discontent. Please lead and guide us continually, so that we may always be where you desire us to be, and in proper fellowship and relationships with the right people. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, amen.